Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Advertising on Beach Sloth

                Today on this old Blog I have a special announcement: I am offering advertising up to whoever is interested. By no means is this going to dramatically change much of anything. After a few years of pouring my heart and scroll into this fine invention I’m ready to take things to the next level. 

                Advertising is in a few forms. Anybody interested in advertising can feel free to contact me at the following address:


                I use that address exclusively for anything payment or Beach Sloth business related. That address proved to be infinitely helpful whenever I have sold T-shirts or chapbooks. Anybody can buy either of those things from me still. 

                T-shirts, Buttons, Etc. go here.
                Chapbooks go here.
                Patreon (NEW) go here.

                I offer a few things for advertising purposes. As the blog is now an increasingly smaller part of what I do I also offer other places to advertise:

                My Twitter
                My Tumblr

                My advertising efforts have already begun prior to this post. Nobody has noticed yet so I figured now would be a great time to take things to the next level. Whoever is interested in advertising through any of my online platforms can do so. Simply email me, let me know what you need, what sort of prices you would be willing to pay, and what kind of advertising you are hoping to do (music, literature, other products, etc.). 

                Thus far my advertising efforts have been pretty successful since they have reinforced rather than taken away from what I have already done. Beach Sloth is a huge passion project for me. I hope to continue doing exactly what I love doing on all platforms. This project has taken on a life of its own. My initial estimate for the length of Beach Sloth was a year, tops, maybe two years. Now it is close to entering its fourth year, hence my desire to try and make this more sustainable for me. 

                Note that I am going to continue this Blog for the indefinite future. There is no specific end in sight for this site. I want to continue doing this with the least amount of interruption possible. I am infinitely thankful for everything everyone has managed to do for me. I have received great support for this project which is why it has continued this long. 

                Whoever is interested in simply donating me money (through the kindness of their heart) can do so via my PayPal account: pleasepaybeachsloth@gmail.com I will continue to blog for you. That is a promise.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Beach Sloth - It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside it’s what’s on the internet that counts 11.0

                Among the masterpieces of the world Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection is the best. Other forms of art are stupid compared to what Beach Sloth has effortlessly accomplished in his debut poetry publication. Writers yearn to truly navigate the depths of the human soul the way an anonymous dad sloth does with absolute ease. Throughout the collection Beach Sloth goes from hilarious to tragic in mere fractions of an inch. Of course this may be due to the font size but it is a grand testament to Beach Sloth’s powers as a highly blogging entity that his work appears to be perfected within these hallowed pages. 

                Trees give their lives for books but usually those books are not as good as Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection. Few things can be. Beach Sloth has for years, nigh decades, supported people. His credo of “Support Each Other” can be felt throughout the surprising debut poetry collection. At times dark and touching Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection takes a different approach from his actual blogging material. Yes the playfulness is still there. Yet there is specific commentary on some of the people that Beach Sloth truly cares for both people he has encountered and people he grew up with. For limiting the collection to random strangers, while fitting his blog’s aesthetic, is thrown aside for a more personal approach. 

                What is most interesting about Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection is the dearth of sloths. Throughout the collection Beach Sloth fails to mention much in the way of actual sloths. Maybe this is because Beach Sloth feels it is too painful to reflect upon growing up in a human’s world as a mere sloth covered in algae hanging off of trees. Currently few are interested in the secret lives of sloths excluding the valiant efforts of a select few biochemists who realize that sloth algae could provide a plethora of life-extending and life-improving pharmaceuticals. 

                Until such time as scientists are able to cure common ailments using sloth back algae, there is Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection. Sure maybe Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection will be unable to cure the common cold but it can improve the spirit and isn’t that just as good, if not better? There is a lot of harshness in life a lot of people who feel like doing it alone. Life does not need to be that way. People are social creatures and with Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection people will feel closer together. And that is better than any medicine. 

                Go HERE to learn more about the importance of Beach Sloth’s debut poetry collection,how to order, and how to have a fun time in general. 

Note for Book Price: While I have a 'pay what you want' feature I would say that the minimum suggested price for the book is $13 US/Canada, $18 International (I figure I am going to be sending a lot of stuff internationally).

Monday, July 27, 2015

Beach Sloth is creating Blogs

                Beach Sloth is a project I created officially on July 27th, 2010. I love blogging about people. There is so much culture to explore and support. Ever since I began Beach Sloth I have not needed a TV for anything. My life has been fulfilled seeing what wonderful pieces of work made it online into my browsers, my emails, my PDFs, my videos, and my music. Honestly thanks to Beach Sloth I have been exposed to more culture than I could ever possibly wrap my arms around. 

                That is why I created a Patreon account. I could use a few sponsors to help me meet my monthly expenses which are pretty small. I live frugally. At this point I do not need much to survive since I have cut down what I consider my needs. What I do know that I need, what I am passionate about, is all the wonderful people I have reviewed on this blog. Countless individuals that I have been fortunate enough to meet have become incredibly close friends, the kinds of friends that I can confide in and treat just like those people I have met in person.

                Financial support for Beach Sloth gives me a reason to spend a greater amount of time on auxiliary aspects of the project. Already I have released an e-book through Amazon, a chapbook I printed myself, an album free for download, an e-book released for free through Peanut Gallery Press (which has been favorably mentioned by Dennis Cooper), and a book through Dig That Book Co. So I try to keep Beach Sloth as active as I possibly can. 

                Everything I create for the blog shall continue to be free. I have great plans for Beach Sloth, including an eventual full-length book, another full-length album offered free of charge, and smaller e-books and chapbooks. People who feel like contributing money to me via Patreon can do so right

                I also understand a lot of my readership cannot afford to support me via Patreon. My presence on Patreon will not change anything about what I can for the blog. All it means is if someone wants to support me financially outside of the usual avenues of:


pleasepaybeachsloth@gmail.com – my Paypal account, which has since become an MEME 

             Recently I have also decided to start a Fiverr account which basically expands what I do on a regular basis into new forms. If you are interested in my Fiverr work (want something written, shared, re-tweeted, etc.) you can go:


They can. It is that simple. Nothing else will change. I shall continue Beach Sloth, this passion project of mine, because I think that what I do is rewarding in ways outside of mere monetary concerns. My ultimate goal for Beach Sloth is to have it financially support me and a small group of writers I particularly like (I have people in mind for this). That is far away but with Patreon that can become considerably easier. Thank you for reading this and thank you for coming to my little corner of the universe. 

                Additionally I would like to thank everyone who has been able to support me on Patreon. It means more to me than I can possibly express.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Beach House - Depression Cherry

Beach Sloth and Beach House have a lot in common. For starters, both begin with “beach”. That is a fairly obvious observation. A less well-known one is Beach Sloth and Beach House used to share the same city, Baltimore, MD. Yes that is a ‘deeper’ cut kind of factoid. Yet an even less obvious one is the two like to take their time. Opting for the simplicity, cutting out the excess, each one cuts to the core of the observer’s emotional state. 

Recent Beach House albums have been unusually active for them. They of course are soundtracks dreams are made of yet they have certainly gotten louder with a greater swirl of color. By becoming ever more popular Beach House has seen themselves experience a taste of popularity. Considering the low-energy high intensity aspect of their work this ought to come as a significant surprise. Honestly for Beach House to have the career they have now is pretty impressive. Most of Beach House’s work is targeted towards the lucrative half-asleep demographic. Beach Sloth is definitely Beach House’s prime target. The writers at Beach Sloth have forsaken caffeine and opted to go for some kind of dreamy trip through reality. 

That is probably Beach House’s best quality: to help soothe a world that has far too much going on. By sort of tuning out to the world and drifting away Beach House prove to the world that there can be enlightenment through those calm quiet times. For intensity does not necessarily have to be a must. Hopefully with Depression Cherry Beach House can put a cherry on their already impressive discography. 

Three Poems by lauren elma frament

                 Rum and Coca-Cola go together nicely. A perfect pair they work to bring night dreams to life. Love is a huge part of that life. Everybody has a first love, at least. Other loves follow. Sometimes the first love is the only love. Few are that fortunate or unfortunate depending on the perspective. Usually first loves are fairly awkward things with lots of idiocy involved. People are terrible in their first loves they get progressively better (hopefully) with future follow-up relationships. Exes become members of an executive board that exists in the mind, reminding and informing each progressive relationship. The board can grow quite large with the board members voting up and down behaviors based off of past experience. The rum and Coca-Cola tries to take the edge off, a vain attempt to seem cool that nearly always fails. 

                The return involves a funeral. Returns in the modern era are pretty sad things to behold. Everything is made to be disposable. Modernity requires it. Plans have been made in advance for things to fall apart. People do it too. At the end of the tunnel for many people is where the light is supposed to be but not when it is the nighttime. Deep in the night there is no light at the end of the tunnel just varying shades of darkness. Homes in the suburbs are made with the mason jars that originated at their adult children’s apartments. Without a sizable income the adult children have little to offer their parents, no reassurance that they are on the right path. Sometimes the right path is the wrong one for everybody else. No two paths are exactly the same, people speed ahead and fall behind at different times. 

                Burglars burgle their ways in and out of hearts. Just because something is stolen doesn’t mean it still can’t provide some level of joy. If a thing was stolen there is always a good reason for it. Robbers give a lot of their loot away because they are nice like that. Usually individuals who own enough don’t even miss it. They simply get another of the same thing for a minimum inconvenience. Inside of each eye is a different sun each one burning for a different person. People orbit around each other hoping to one day find a new sun to live around. For some people it never happens and they remain adrift in endless darkened space.

Neon Indian - Annie

I get it Neon Indian: you love the 80s. You are one of those people who lives in Brooklyn and buys old VHS cassettes. Probably during your spare time you gaze longingly at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself “Damn who is that good-looking fellow?” If I were you I’d be saying that kind of stuff. Fortunately while you probably do spend a lot of time reveling in 80s nostalgia (now definitely not the unremembered 80s - take that LCD Soundsystem lyric!) you occasionally get around to writing some new tunes. It has been a while since you have put anything out so it is doubly refreshing that you continue to work on stuff, stuff that really ought to be out in the summer (let’s face it you write summer jams). 

“Annie” gives a glimpse of what your album might look like. For whatever reason it reminds me of Culture Club so thank you kindly for that. On cold nights I miss Culture Club and on hot nights I miss Culture Club even more. You seem to have moved away from your lo-fi origins. Additionally the song appears to continue down your poppy vein, having discarded some of those hints of shoegaze that marked your most recent effort. I am curious to see whether or not you’ll incorporate some of those dreamy textures on your proper album. Yes I understand that this is merely one song but I really liked some of those more far out sounds. The sounds on “Annie” feel pretty grounded and oddly clean for somebody like you, somebody I expect to roll around in the murk. 

Hopefully you take all the hints your own music provides and do the right thing: release this for the sweltering summer because NYC is going to be hot this year. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Poems by Matthew Rohrer

Beautiful weather is full of clear blue skies that people say no to all of the time. This is part of life learning when there are important things to do inside. Every day has a new song and no two are exactly the same. Journeys happen all the time and most of them are irrelevant, the best kind of relevant. Nature reveals in splendor far away from humanity. With humanity nearby nature has to really up its game showing off blossoms along the interstates, trying to comfort people as they go from one meaningless place to another. 

Digital coughs bring people out of their love with nature. Glitch to the system they force people to pay attention to other people they aren’t going to meet. Smells of the world are full of these spirits that long for each other. Burned down the emotions rest on the mind like wisps of smoke flying from the fires. The glow of fires rest on the eyes after a long day. Constellations the lights of the night always seem to lead home, no matter how people try to think otherwise. Wind blows and tries to guide people back to where they were last loved because that is where home is, in golden hues. 

Sunrise is the ultimate light always five minutes late to the party. The sun is okay with being fashionably late. The sun reflects upon itself in water, rivers, lakes, and streams. Angels bring the light as they are holy spirits and use their holes to great effect. Light rarely has any depth it has great distances to travel. Volcanos move with great speed after decades and centuries spent keeping quiet. With the great level of motivation volcanos can bring darkness to the world stopping air travel and cooling everybody off for a little while. Technology can be as freeing as it can be confining. 

Faint smells are those that have fainted, overwhelmed by their own sense of self. They sit quietly resting for someone to notice. Subtle in nature they want to receive just a little bit of attention. Nature can also destroy the structure the world has tried to impose, removing roofs, tearing up foundations because nature needs to reassert itself against six billion who want to impose their will. Mighty with its will nature likes to see itself as it once was: without the pock marks and festering sores others have placed on it.